Can't believe I left this place for more than a year without logging anything at all. But yeah, hi. Remember when I said I was scared to write Agnes' and Comodo's story? And when I thought I don't think I can finish theirs? Well, that news is so last year. Because believe it or not, Dethroned & Fallen is coming to an end. Shocking, right? I mean, who would've thought it would work? Who would've thought freeing myself from the shackles I made myself would also let me be free and finish their story? As of this writing, I am ongoing writing Chapter 36, but the next chapters are already plotted until the end. (Can't believe I am also plotting. Congrats, self!) I hope this story will find its future readers who will love and appreciate their love. And also in another news, remember that story that's been stuck in my head for years? The one about Samael and a girl named Mallory? Remember how I cannot even get to the middle because I don't know how to finish it? Well...it's finish now! Only the book 1 though, but don't worry, the book 2 and book 3 are already on the way. Yey! I am just proud of myself now and my progress. Maybe future me needs a push like this, so hang in there! IT. ALL. GETS. BETTER. 23:19
0 Comments
I've been writing bits and pieces of Dethroned & Fallen for years. I've seen him in moments just like when I met Teddy the first time—strong, dignified, great. I've known his strengths, his secrets, his fate and destiny and I still feel like I'm not ready yet to show him to the world. I don't know how to show him to the world. Weak and Fallen is vanilla compared to his darkness. And so I've been scared. But then I finally finished Teddy and Rei's story, and I knew I had to show him to the world. And so here he is. Comodo has always been strong, a hint of—no, scratch that—he's darkness and nightmares itself. But there's a reason for it. And his greatest karma is waiting for him for all that has happened in his life. I put a trigger warning in the story. Because even though I denied it, Comodo's story will be a very huge turn compared to Teddy's. But please read it with the same open mind. Please respect it and adore it, or maybe hate it sometimes, but still read it. At the right time, you'll see Comodo. 19:12
hello. so it's been a while i know but i'm in a really tough place right now. trying to live. trying to survive. trying to breathe. most days, i pretend i'm okay, be the mask i made so others will see 'i'm fine' and once i'm alone, gone were the facades, the pit in my stomach stays. writing is what's keeping me alive, and all i need is my gravestone right now because pretty sure i'm dead. i can't breathe at all. i'm drowning in deep waters when i don't know how to swim. for someone reading this, i hope you're okay. i hope the sun shines in your day. i hope you breathe and sigh and survive and sleep through the days. smile when you see the bright skies, relax when you see the stars. be safe and well. 15:11
I once again proved how much writing makes me feel alive. 11:11
There have been issues to where I am now, but I thank God I'm here. I feel hope and bliss, and other than that, a little happy and content I can finally read and be giddy with books, I work a job I know I love. I'm scared to lose some things, all the while also wishing it will all be mine too. 15:03
why make a group, you say? because....at some point, we all get tired being out of our comfort zones. we just want a safe place :) 00:00
first of all, i had to recheck the spelling of 12th because seeing what i typed feels incorrect. i'm sure i'm not the only person who did that so i just had to share it with you. mweheh. i redid things on this site and i'm happy about it. doing tasks like this helps me calm my senses. not only that, i am feeling productive to finally make do of my time with something useful and meaningful. ayun lang. if ever anyone stumbles upon this site, i hope you're well. if you need to scream out some feelings you feel no one can understand or accept, my email is open for your secrets. i won't exploit you, don't you worry. just go to the LETTER tab of this site and send me a mail. this is a safe place. :) stay safe my little worries. 22:15
Malapit nang matapos ang current bond ko. I'm excited to start again. But at the moment, I'm very much stressed. 11:26
Familiarity is necessary. Doesn't matter if it's a person, a place in the park, a movie, a series, a song, a food, even a smell. Familiarity helps us stay on the ground whenever pride lifts us up to the unreachable, or when pain pulls us down to the trench. Familiarity is that one special thing in one's life that let's us feel safe and secured. It's the warm hand to hold when you're scared. The candle to light up when it's dark. 16:46
Nothing exciting happens in our current lifestyle anymore. Whenever you realized that, eat some ice cream. Rewatch that movie or series that hypes you up. Reread your favorite book. Do whatever it is that you remembered gave you that sense of excitement from that past. It'll be the same feeling but in this new time. It will be familiar to you, so you will feel a little less not okay. We all need that boost sometimes. 16:45
I'm under training again. When I applied, I was not hundred percent sure. Alam ko kasi sa sarili ko na hindi pa ganoon kalaki ang kapasidad ko. Pero nag-apply pa rin ako. Trying is fifty percent succes, right? And then...I got accepted. There's only fifty four people who got accepted. And I was happy to be part of it already. Sana lang makapasa ko sa elimination exam.*cross fingers* 18:16
I'm tired, but I want to be hopeful. The world may be sad and dark sometimes. People say, believe in yourself , be independent. Survive life and learn to do it alone. Everyone can do that actually. Anyone. But sometimes, having at least one person to walk with you makes everything in life better. Easier, too. For my person, thank you for the never ending support and cheers whenever I feel down (which is most days, actually). I'm forever grateful God has given me you. 🥀 11:47
My work is taking a lottttt of my time. I swear. Pangarap ko na nga lang makatapos ng isang araw na eight hours ang nako-consume eh. Pero ang imposible. I don't want to sound hateful but I might be, the management does not care to the low-level employees (i.e me) and agrees to whatever stupid idea the higher-ups has. Ang hirap. Sobrang hirap. Most would say, at least OT, may additional ka na pay. Blah. No, it's not that. Pagsisihan mo kung puro ka OT. Kung karamihan ng oras mo sa trabaho napupunta (di counted ang passion works). There will be no time even for sleep? No amount is enough to help compromise that. It's just, really not right. Gusto ko lang magsulat. Gusto ko lang magsulat. I want to do my wattpad ambassador duty, too. I just want to have a life and my low-rate job is so demanding it does not want my life for me. Sakit lang. 20:16
I have these moments when I don't feel like writing. I mean, I would love to write but my hand and my mind would deny me to think and type the words. Puno na yung utak ko pero, wala. Minsan dahil pinanghihinaan ng loob. Madalas dahil nawawalan ng tiwala. No matter, babawi na lang ako. 13:19
So a while ago, I'm very much under the weather. Kaso wala pang isang oras, may balitang dumating. I GOT MY WATTPAD AMBASSADOR BADGE! Come on. How cool is that? Wattpad have always been my safe place, so I'm really happy I get to be helping maintain the safety there. <3 18:50
So I'm trying my best to walk and continue, whatever continue means. But as of the moment, it means, waking up at seven am, drinking my black coffee (psycho drink, I know), working from eight am until I don't know when, logging out from work, hoping to have an hour or more to write or watch movies, sleep, and the cycle repeats. Pinanghihinaan ako ng loob, oo. Pero gusto ko pa ring magsulat. Gusto ko talagang magsulat. Hindi ako magaling. Ni hindi ako commendable. Pero gusto ko 'to. Mahal ko 'to. Kaya...itutuloy ko. 18:02
|